Aqua Historical Society

Aqua Greetings from the way, way, far away future! I am Elder 471-blue XL. I am the curator of the Aqua Historical Society's Media Library. It's not the most exciting job, but I'm not "good" with people. Being alone here in this basement all day is really the best thing for me. It gets lonely sometimes, but a little loneliness is ten times better than 3 aqua nights in the Aqua Pain Dome for biting some ones ear off because I "thought" he was looking at me funny.

Anyhoo, I'm sending this Time Blog from the future to the past in order to inform all of you Landites about an upcoming very special aqua-time-broadcast. Starting on November 20th, 2006, I will be sending an aqua-time-broadcast of one of the many historical episodes of the adventures of the long dead Aqua Rangers. This is merely for educational purposes.

Subsequent episodes will follow in the coming weeks. Please use these historical records for edification about the future. There is nothing you can do to change the eminent destruction of the universe, so you might as well get a glimpse of what happens after the smoke clears. Besides most of you will be killed in the giant tidal wave, so this should be a real hoot for you guys.

Aqua thanks and please tell all you know to tune in for this and future aqua-time-broadcasts.

Aqua-Goodbye,
Elder 471-blue XL
Curator Media Library
Aqua Historical Society

Rusty Here,

Boy oh boy, there's nothing worse than zombie dolphins! Not only are the smart and fast, but they want to eat your brain. Well, my brain is staying right here! (I'm pointing at my head)

We stumbled into a school of those things on a routine patrol of aqua-quadrant 14 just outside the Liquidia Galaxy. Zombie dolphins are especially dangerous because they are so darn cute. They trick you by acting like some one is in trouble, then when you go outside of your ship they attack! With the swiftness of an aqua-ballerina and the tenacity of a frisky priest after boys choir practice.

It took forever to convince Webb that they weren't regular dolphins. He tried to go outside like 15 times, even after we watched them devour several whales. It didn't help that Webb had been drinking a lot of his special energy drink out of his aqua-flask all day.

The only way to kill a zombie dolphin is to shove a stick of aqua-dynamite into it's blow hole. It's messy, but effective.

After taking care of all the zombie dolphins, I tucked Webb into bed and read him his favorite bedtime story. I have to go now, the aqua-Sears and Roebucks catalog just got here and I want to go to my room by myself and look at the bras and pant..... I mean the aqua-televisions.

Rusty Out